#9 – If This is My Last Post, Find My Will

Oct. 30th?

I woke with a gasp, in the middle of my living room, Halloween decorations everywhere, adding to the destruction that was my life.

I’m really not sure how it seems like every one of my posts includes me waking up to chaos and destruction. Is there something wrong with me? Am I cursed?

My gasp immediately morphed into a bloodcurdling scream that I never knew I had. You know the types of screams you always pretend to scream but never fully commit when you’re goofing around with your friends?

Yeah.

I was no longer goofing around.

I don’t know if I would ever goof around again.

Was I dead?

I gulped in another breath of air, ready to scream bloody murder again when a hand slapped itself down on my mouth, cutting off my supply of air for a second, enough to startle me.

“What in the world are you doing?”

My eyes snapped open and I stared straight into the beam of a flashlight aimed at my face.

Seeing my flinch, the person turned the light away. As I lay there, dumbfounded, they said, “The power in your building went out during the attack.”

I blurted, “I killed someone!”

Great. Nice one, Eve. And this is why you could never lead a life of crime. Someone asks what you’re doing and you immediately tell them straight off –

“Are you sure? Where’s Jackie?”

“Hell if I know! She doesn’t tell me anything! Apparently she’s dead, but I totally heard her talking to me.” My eyes were slowly adjusting to the darkness.

“Maybe we should get you cleaned up.”

A hand took my arm while another grabbed my hand. As I was hauled off my sorry ass, my breathing came out in short gasps as I realized I was going to jail or I was going to die because I just killed someone. Or I was going to an insane asylum because I have absolutely NO recollection of actually killing anything.

It was then that my mind caught up with my body and I noticed who I was talking to.

My eyes widened. “What are you doing here?”

“I’m guessing you got my message?”

“That creepy ass voicemail? Yeah, what was that about?”

Matt shook his head. His hair had grown longer since – twelfth grade. I know, big surprise. “Eve, we don’t have much time. We need to get you cleaned up and out of here before anyone else comes. They know you killed one of their own and will try to find you no matter the cost.” He put an arm around me, trying to steer me towards the hall.

“See? I knew I killed someone!” I whirled around. “Where are they?”

“You didn’t kill them, Jackie did.”

“Jackie? I thought…” My mouth dropped open. “She was talking to me in my head. How did she do that? Wait, she’s not dead right? Is this a prank?” Then I did the most embarrassing thing that anyone could ever do in that moment. I started crying.

Let me elaborate. I started crying because I was laughing too hard.

Oh, that’s not the half of it. The laughter? Yeah, that didn’t stop, and neither did the hysterics.

“A prank! It’s got to be a prank.” I guffawed, throwing my hands out as I lunged forward, tripping over a fallen chair. My hands slapped at the red on the floor. “This is paint? Whoa, this feels so real. How did you guys do this?” I was laughing so hard, my words almost failed to get past my snorts.

Talk about embarrassing.

“You’re going into shock. Eve, please, we need to leave.”

My lips twitched as I tried to keep from laughing. “But I thought you wanted me to get cleaned up?”

Matt let out a groan as he rubbed a hand over his face. “We don’t have time.” He looked so out of place and professional in my destroyed apartment that I started laughing again.

“Oh, come on, Matt. I know it’s just a prank for Halloween. Jackie loves Halloween.” I walked to the couch in the living room, which was now torn to pieces and broken in half. “I’m sure she got all this fake blood from some Halloween store or something.” I looked at the broken glass from the coffee table strewn across the floor. “I’m sure my furniture is safe somewhere.”

The look of pity on Matt’s face made me pause. “Eve…”

I didn’t say anything. This wasn’t that funny anymore. I rubbed my face with the back of my hand, smearing the fake blood on my cheek with my tears.

“What’s going on, Matt?” I whispered, walking backwards as I sobbed.

“Eve,” His voice warned.

My heart flew into my throat as I tripped backwards over something and landed on my ass. Blinking away tears, I looked to my right, only to see the decapitated body of Jackie’s victim.

The last meal I had from Friday night – ravioli in marinara sauce, chocolate cake, pumpkin pie, and brussels sprouts – made its first appearance on the floor by the dead leg I had just tripped over.

Embarrassing? You haven’t seen embarrassing.

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#5 – Lies and Spider Leggings

Oct. 24th

 

“Rise and shine, sleepyhead!” A voice screeched from the hallway, directly outside of my bedroom door. Slowly, I woke up, eyes drooping like the fronds of a palm tree.

“What?”

There was a short knock before Jackie burst into the room.

“You slept through Sunday!” She threw open the curtains in my room and added,            “And you missed a delicious breakfast I prepared myself! Green eggs and ham. Although I swapped out the green for red, in honor of the month of October, of course.”

I jumped out of bed. “What time is it? It’s Monday? Already?” Pausing from frantically trying to get my life together, I added, “Wait, when did you get back?”

“A little past…four. You were out like a light.” Jackie shook her head. “I got home this morning at like five. I didn’t want to wake you!”

With a frustrated groan, I realized I must have fallen asleep in my clothes. Again. Usually I would head straight for my PJs the moment I got home though, so I was surprised I still had jeans on. I ran towards the bathroom, almost tripping over the rug because my balance was still thrown off from sleep. Blinking, I stooped—rather ungracefully—to fix the offending piece of cloth.

“I have work!” I exclaimed. “Well, like…” I stood and faced Jackie, shoulders already drooping with defeat, “…half a day ago. But…ohmygosh, I’m going to be so fired.” I sighed.

“I think someone called in sick today.” Her face held an impish grin and struck a pose, hands on hips as she took a few long pacing steps by the door. Her legs were clad in spider leggings and they seemed to jump with every wide step she took.

Eyes narrowing, I rubbed my neck. “You did what?”

“I called in sick for you. Apparently you had food poisoning. Pity.” She pouted at me, pretending to rub away tears under her eyes. “You’re welcome, by the way! Now you have all day to party with moi! You like my leggings? I got them this morning before I got back! We can get you a pair too—”

“I still have my night classes,” I reminded her. “If I’m missing work from a fake sickness, I should at least do some homework.”

“That’s rough. You, being sick…with food poisoning and all.” She eyed me, folding her arms. “Maybe you should take a break. Rest a little. How does your head feel? Food poisoning can cause headaches too.”

“Why do you keep saying that?” I laughed a little. “It’s like you’re trying to convince me I have it or something. It’s not some disease, and my head is fine. If I really had food poisoning, I wouldn’t be worried about my head.”

She paused for a second and blinked at me, catching me off guard. Jackie was rarely at a loss of words.

Usually she had several words too many. Sometimes she even took my words.

Then, she threw her head back and let out a loud cackle, “Oh, that’s absurd. I know it’s not, like, some contagious disease. Next time I’ll say you have mono or something.”

And everything was back to normal.

Going into the bathroom, I decided splash water onto my face to wake myself up. When I was combing out my hair, I realized there was a giant lump on the back of my head. I heard a dripping noise behind me and turned to face the rest of the bathroom. Looking down at the source of the sound, I saw a red liquid dripping into the bathtub. Without much other warning, it burst from the faucet in a steady stream, roaring to life like a crimson waterfall.

I gasped, eyes wide.

            What was happening?

I must have blinked or something because suddenly there was a small flash of darkness and the bathtub was normal again, water running steadily into the tub.

It wasn’t until later, when I had left for class that I realized I hadn’t turned on the bathtub.