I woke with a gasp, in the middle of my living room, Halloween decorations everywhere, adding to the destruction that was my life.
I’m really not sure how it seems like every one of my posts includes me waking up to chaos and destruction. Is there something wrong with me? Am I cursed?
My gasp immediately morphed into a bloodcurdling scream that I never knew I had. You know the types of screams you always pretend to scream but never fully commit when you’re goofing around with your friends?
I was no longer goofing around.
I don’t know if I would ever goof around again.
Was I dead?
I gulped in another breath of air, ready to scream bloody murder again when a hand slapped itself down on my mouth, cutting off my supply of air for a second, enough to startle me.
“What in the world are you doing?”
My eyes snapped open and I stared straight into the beam of a flashlight aimed at my face.
Seeing my flinch, the person turned the light away. As I lay there, dumbfounded, they said, “The power in your building went out during the attack.”
I blurted, “I killed someone!”
Great. Nice one, Eve. And this is why you could never lead a life of crime. Someone asks what you’re doing and you immediately tell them straight off –
“Are you sure? Where’s Jackie?”
“Hell if I know! She doesn’t tell me anything! Apparently she’s dead, but I totally heard her talking to me.” My eyes were slowly adjusting to the darkness.
“Maybe we should get you cleaned up.”
A hand took my arm while another grabbed my hand. As I was hauled off my sorry ass, my breathing came out in short gasps as I realized I was going to jail or I was going to die because I just killed someone. Or I was going to an insane asylum because I have absolutely NO recollection of actually killing anything.
It was then that my mind caught up with my body and I noticed who I was talking to.
My eyes widened. “What are you doing here?”
“I’m guessing you got my message?”
“That creepy ass voicemail? Yeah, what was that about?”
Matt shook his head. His hair had grown longer since – twelfth grade. I know, big surprise. “Eve, we don’t have much time. We need to get you cleaned up and out of here before anyone else comes. They know you killed one of their own and will try to find you no matter the cost.” He put an arm around me, trying to steer me towards the hall.
“See? I knew I killed someone!” I whirled around. “Where are they?”
“You didn’t kill them, Jackie did.”
“Jackie? I thought…” My mouth dropped open. “She was talking to me in my head. How did she do that? Wait, she’s not dead right? Is this a prank?” Then I did the most embarrassing thing that anyone could ever do in that moment. I started crying.
Let me elaborate. I started crying because I was laughing too hard.
Oh, that’s not the half of it. The laughter? Yeah, that didn’t stop, and neither did the hysterics.
“A prank! It’s got to be a prank.” I guffawed, throwing my hands out as I lunged forward, tripping over a fallen chair. My hands slapped at the red on the floor. “This is paint? Whoa, this feels so real. How did you guys do this?” I was laughing so hard, my words almost failed to get past my snorts.
Talk about embarrassing.
“You’re going into shock. Eve, please, we need to leave.”
My lips twitched as I tried to keep from laughing. “But I thought you wanted me to get cleaned up?”
Matt let out a groan as he rubbed a hand over his face. “We don’t have time.” He looked so out of place and professional in my destroyed apartment that I started laughing again.
“Oh, come on, Matt. I know it’s just a prank for Halloween. Jackie loves Halloween.” I walked to the couch in the living room, which was now torn to pieces and broken in half. “I’m sure she got all this fake blood from some Halloween store or something.” I looked at the broken glass from the coffee table strewn across the floor. “I’m sure my furniture is safe somewhere.”
The look of pity on Matt’s face made me pause. “Eve…”
I didn’t say anything. This wasn’t that funny anymore. I rubbed my face with the back of my hand, smearing the fake blood on my cheek with my tears.
“What’s going on, Matt?” I whispered, walking backwards as I sobbed.
“Eve,” His voice warned.
My heart flew into my throat as I tripped backwards over something and landed on my ass. Blinking away tears, I looked to my right, only to see the decapitated body of Jackie’s victim.
The last meal I had from Friday night – ravioli in marinara sauce, chocolate cake, pumpkin pie, and brussels sprouts – made its first appearance on the floor by the dead leg I had just tripped over.
Embarrassing? You haven’t seen embarrassing.